I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
