I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
