i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
