Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
