if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
