gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
