Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
