i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
