It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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