i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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