I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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