Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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