it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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