i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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