it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize