the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
