GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
