i think my mom watched the whole time
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
