we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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