The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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