if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
