Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
