I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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