have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
