I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
