If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
