Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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