there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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