I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
