even my farts smell like vagina
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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