yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
