I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
