I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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