if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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