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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.

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• (818): View more from California

  Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.

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• (585): View more from New York

  he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.

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