shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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