You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
