Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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