I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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