hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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