ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
