Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
