she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
