My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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