I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
