Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
