you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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