if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As shirtless as possible
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
