Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
