I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it hurts more in the daytime
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
