You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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