Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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