there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
