I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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