I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
