I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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