If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
