check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
